As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
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I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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