Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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