i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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