The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize