she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
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She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
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I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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