He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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