i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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