It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize