Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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