i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dear god my vagina.
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