real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
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I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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