does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The adults are the big ones right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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