Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize