i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize