He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
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Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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