i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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