we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
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I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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