Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
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You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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