I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize