On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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