i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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