Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize