i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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