Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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