you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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