Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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