i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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