one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Come on in and take your pants off
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