I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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