Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize