why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize