Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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