I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize