I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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