my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize