Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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