he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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