At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize