At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize