Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize