I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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