also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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