he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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