shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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