can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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