In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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