Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm always down for nudity.
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