i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
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I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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