i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
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But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
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If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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