I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize